Perceptions...

Funny how your perception can change as time advances. What am I talking about...well, I was on Facebook walking through memory lane. For those that are Facebook friends with me and haven't notice, I have a million and one pics up....including pics of me competing in fitness events. I came up a picture of my last competition from almost 3 years ago...I can't believe it's already been 3 years...anyway...looking back at my physique at that time today I yearn to have it like that once again...it's my objective before my 31st birthday this June 4th.

Ironically, that specific moment in time was also full of term oil, negative emotions and a ton of stress. I remember feeling so sad and so mentally unprepared for that event due to my mind-state at that time with everything that was going on in my life. In effect, that also affected, not only me, physically (I was not as ready as I needed to be...and I knew it) but me mentally. For those that know me in these past years know that I am not a shy person. Being infront of a crowd does not, in any way, stress me. On the contrary...I love it and normally do quite well, if I may say so myself.

Ok, so what am I getting at...well, despite the horrible moment in time that was for me, I look back today and wish to have that exact physique again...minus all that emotional poo. I am very happy today and am totally in love with my soul mate. Now, if I could have that body back, things would be extremely great! Here's 2 pics of what I'm talking about:

So this was my last and my worst competition ever...I cried like a little baby after that competition but not for what most people would think...sure I did horribly and was sad for that, but worse is coming to the realization that emotionally I had lost control of my life...I remember standing backstage at the end of the competition as the athletes and coaches were exiting the scene and completely being in a bubble of depressing emotions...just staring into nothing, frozen in time...what a crappy moment...Looking back at the pics today...despite all that...I yearn for that body back...I'll get it. It will be a birthday gift from me to me. 31 baby...31...right now it hurts just thinking about it but if and when this physique is back for my birthday...it will make it a little better...at least :)

Tomorrow morning I weigh-in and take my measurements....was supposed to do that today but, to be very honest...I totally forgot and only realized after I had breakfast and a tall glass of milk...so tomorrow it is!

Before I go, I added this link...nothing to do with anything I`m talking about but SUPER cute...take a look and enjoy....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R55e-uHQna0

Have a goodnight!

Rowaida